Leetsquivel
Master procrastinator attempting on a cure. Highlighter of the absurd layer of life and Doctor of the pulling-out-of-context technique. Enjoys writing about anything that stirs up his interest. Life is worth living for the lulz!
Lady Gaga Is Bald, Hence Talented
Lady Gaga performed bald on the Paul O’Grady Show. And then she put a wig on. All this while playing the piano. Planet Earth has imploded with talent. Is it just me or people seem to be too bedazzled by the fact that a person making millions of dollars in the music industry can actually [...]
Saudis to Finally Accept Women Driving Jokes
Since a royal decree currently prohibits Saudi women to drive, some brave ninja-look-alike burka wearers took it to the streets and protested today by driving around dressed like Sub-Zero. Although they risk being raped and killed (normal salute of driving females in Saudi Arabia), women know it’s worth it to fight for their rights. Naturally, [...]
Rick Rolling: The Next Level
Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” is known to be the epitome of trolling, the fisherman’s bait to a troll’s pouch, but like all memes, after a while it just loses its mojo. Sometimes, though, such phenomenons get reinvigorated by a highly superior troll being. So in case you’ve had an awful lot of [...]
Most Hated Singer Dies At 43
43-year old An*l C*nt founder Seth Putnam died of a heart attack last week. What a g*y f**kin’ c*nt! (By saying this it’s obvious that I listened to his music a lot). Yes, I used that highly elegant expression due to the fact that gratuitous insults using words such as “g*y” and “c*nt” were totally [...]
Innovative Music: Acoustic Black Metal
The flames of hell have once again been cast upon humanity. But this time by soft and delicate spikeless hands. Altough many would think that an association between black metal and acoustic guitars is impossible, Seth Putnam has proved it wrong by creating one of the world’s most inspiring and groundbreaking musical projects. Known mostly [...]
Some Gruesome Satanic Music
The Devil’s new and most profound messengers come from Turku, Finland. The Scandinavian legacy has once more proven that the Antichrist is closer to the Northern Pole than to the Southern one (wise penguins, I must note). Such deep ritualic manifestation renders any other black metal artist insignificant, possessing, by far, a higher percentage of [...]
How Soccer Got Cool in Portland
American soccer has breached a new height in popularity last week, following Timber Joey’s passion and devotion to show what the beautiful game truly is about. So, of course, we thought soccer is just a sissy sport the British invented, consisting of 22 ladies diving around the pitch hoping to obtain things known as free-kicks [...]
Shirley You Can’t Be Serious!
Leslie Nielsen, possibly the only funny slapstick comedian to ever live, is said to have died yesterday of complications from pneumonia. He was 84 years old and he died in his sleep. But this, of course, is false. As always, when such a lively person dies, one can’t abstain but ask himself if it’s true [...]
Mizar, the 21st Century Messiah
If 2000 years ago all a Messiah had to do to get famous was getting some hippie clothes, preaching around and doing some David Blaine tricks for all to see, it looks like the new Jesuses have a much harder time to get worldly acclaimed. Paradoxically, with all the access to so many media channels [...]
Top 10 Moronic Predictions From the Past
Sorry, medieval man, that shit didn’t happen! Man’s predicting abilities might work sometimes, but as far as science is concerned, speculating on the matter always leads to long term epic failure. The inability to comprehend future technologies and habits of humankind is quite common, but still, the dazing adventurer will always seek to give precise [...]
