Sure, everyone knows how hot Zooey is after seeing her as the always rather unorthodox girlfriend in either Weeds, Yes Man, (500) Days of Summer or Our Idiot Brother. And fall 2011 looked just like the right time to fully exploit her looks into a brand new TV serial.

Katy Perry Zooey Deschanel New Girl Tv Show

Katty Perry Zooey Deschanel confusionIn New Girl Zooey plays a chick that’s just been dumped by her boyfriend, looking for a new apartment to live in and she ends up living with three single men. It does look a bit like a better version of the Big Bang Theory, but with far more obnoxious guys (2 metrosexuals and a depressive loser), hence the douchebag jar that they require in their apartment.

While some might have 4 reasons to love this show, here I come selecting a top 4 to hate it:

1. The Absolutely Blatant Humor that will try to tongue in your cheek but will only manage to deliver yawns. Having compared it to the Big Bang Theory earlier, I should also add a tiny, far fetched memory of Scrubs. Tiny, cause it’s only related to Zach Braff’s character’s failed humorous attempts. Presented here as good comedy.

2. The Absence of a Laugh Track

Weird, isn’t it? Usually, the presence of such a thing is the clear guarantee that you’re dealing with a sh*t comedy designed for a sh*t audience who can’t decide when they should laugh on their own. But, as I never could have imagined, this gets even worse and proves the need for this sort of shows to use a laugh track. Awkward and utterly unfunny jokes are just absorbed into silent oblivion by fade outs and quirky cheekbone movement from Zooey Deschanel. A new level of Sad is born.

3. You Shouldn’t Watch Comedies Just Because You’d Bang the Main Character

I know, Zooey is as cool as Katy Perry and Katy is as hot as Zooey and for that matter, whilst humping either of them, I wouldn’t even make the difference, but time is a terrible thing to waste on poor fiction.

4. Zooey’s Character Is, in Fact, the Infamous Internet Meme, Idiot Nerd Girl

Idiot Nerdy Girl abs

Idiot Nerdy Girl no friends

Idiot Nerdy Girl music

Idiot Nerdy Girl such a nerd

Idiot Nerdy Girl hack

So thanks but no thanks, New Girl, brain dead entertainment just isn’t my thing. I’ll just wait for Zooey to star as yet another idealization of the weird female who understands the oddball male in some comedy/drama with above average box office sales. And who knows, it might even get all artistic and make her show some boobs. Major plus, since New Girl, although incredibly shallow, won’t even provide that.

Featured image from Joe Cereghino on Flickr.

Photos from xploitme on Flickr and