It’s wonderful to believe that soulmates would trust one another in any given situation. Unfortunately, for many people, this is a pipe dream. Someone could be having the best relationship of their life and be experiencing utter euphoria every day, but still not feel obliged to merge their assets with their partner. Does this communicate a lack of trust?
Whether it’s an overwhelming betrayal or two people have simply grown apart, divorce is rather common in the marriage arena. Surely it makes sense to protect yourself in case circumstances change and relationships turn sour?
Well, to get to the bottom of this conundrum, a few factors need to be considered. They are:
Married couples come in all shapes and sizes, both physically and in terms of bank account magnitudes. If you earn a lot more than your partner, then signing a prenup can make perfect sense. If you don’t, you could be obligated to sign away half of your hard-earned cash to pay out an ex-partner who, frankly, doesn’t deserve a penny.
Trust often isn’t a factor at all; fairness is. Many married couples simply believe everyone should get what they’re owed, have worked for and deserve, and then choose to leave it at that. Prenups are very rarely ever a character assassination, so perhaps keep this in mind if your own angry partner starts barking at your motives.
Also, a prenup can purify a relationship, in a sense. It means your partner is with you because they love you, and not because of how many zeroes are at the end of your salary or pension. If your partner does get overly angry at the mention of a prenup, perhaps consider their motives. Do they just want to solidify a marriage and strengthen your union, or do they want to live off you like a parasite?
Very often in the prenup arena, a third party is needed; a team of handy and capable divorce lawyers who perform a good job. Whether it’s guiding you toward the right decision or putting plans in motion, sometimes an impartial presence can help remove the high tensions in the situation. It injects law into what has likely been conjecture and rhetoric up until now, trading cold hard facts for arguments and opinions.
Questions of trust will be removed and replaced with matters of law and productive ways forward. In fact, ‘trust’ will rarely factor into a divorce lawyers’ proceedings or instruction, if it’s even mentioned at all. Time will be spent on the admin and the practical sides of things, which may help a partner realize that the prenup isn’t a petty insult and more the reality of the situation.
Communication and Reasoning
Most people will only assume the worst in action if no explanation is given. After all, trust is earned through communication, and relationship issues can’t be solved unless both parties sit down and negotiate their position and explain their logic. Eliminate the ‘because I said so’ lines and vague explanations in the prenup conversations; get to the root of how and why fast and hard.
It might seem like a cop-out answer but signing a prenup only means what you intend it to mean. Do you truly not trust your partner? Tell them, and perhaps explain your financial situations clearly and concisely. It doesn’t mean you’re intending to split up with your partner in the future, it’s just a contingency plan if people and situations change or remain the same, however likely or unlikely those things may be. Remember, a backup plan is never a bad plan!